Sports betting pays off with visit from Rocco, Luigi

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Bet bugs, bed bugs – can you tell the difference?

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Both can take a bite out of you. Both can lead to serious stress.

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But it is bet bugs we are focusing on here.

Every sports game you watch on TV is infested with annoying, infuriating, vexatious BETTING commercials.

A while back, the government of Canada legalized sports betting, allowing the provinces to introduce it if they saw fit and by gosh, by golly, Ontario pounced on it with visions of billions of dollars flowing into the tax pot.

The gambling is regulated by the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario.

Now get this, the AGCO mandate says “it registers and regulates online gambling sites and SETS STANDARDS TO PROTECT PLAYERS while working to ensure game integrity for people across Ontario.”

Note “Protect Players.” Ah, the AGCO administer a miraculous potion for those who have become addicted to gambling, particularly in the realm of sports.

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Some of the top sites, in order of size: Flutter Entertainment (FanDuel), Bet365, Draftkings, MGM Resorts.

Now I have no proof, but I am sure these gambling dens have cut into the take from provincial lottery ticket sales and local bingo halls.

You’ve spent too much on sports betting? Can’t pay?

Meet Luigi and Rocco, who are dispatched to your door if you owe on a gambling debt.

“Hey, Luigi, what’ll we do with this welcher Malcomb?” says Rocco. “Which-a leg we gonna break? Or do we send him to swim with the fishes?”

“Nah, not-a leg, we take-a his wife,” Luigi says. “You canna have her back when-a you pay up, he says to Malcomb. She’ll be cookin’ dinners for the enforcers till then. Capon says I lost my touch on the spaghetti sauce,”

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“OK,” says Rocco. “I hear she is a top donna cucinare. Meanwhile on the front porch, Luigi picks up Malcomb by the ankles and shakes any money out of pockets.

Out pops a wallet filled with copies of IOUs, money Malcomb owes to Mafiosa Mike’s Fun Casino and Betting

Club, headquartered in Palermo, sicily and official partner of the Ontario Government.

See, when you use your cell phone to place bets, you do not mingle with gold lion of MGM, or Hollywood types like John Hamm, or showers of champagne or any other damn thing.

It’s a cell phone, not a “legendary” experience transporting you to Las Vegas.

New customer? Some of the houses give you $200 credit If you bet and win $5. Now, think about that. They are not in the gambling businesses to enrich you, but to enrich them. And offering $200 in bets for a $5 wager really means they are trying to hook you.

Don’t be fooled. I have the feeling that provincial government are going to better control these houses of ill-repute in 2026.

Remember the Animals ‘House of the Rising Sun”?’

Far too many are being bitten by the Bet Bug.

(Note: I am going into hospital for serious surgery Jan. 5. I am not sure how many people read this column, but if you do not see my smiling face on the website for a

period, you will know why. If you do not see it ever again, well, it has been a hoot.

(Note: Scott Weiner mentioned in a recent column is CEO of Avera Group, not TSC).

Barry.ellsworth@sympatico.ca

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